Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
Trustworthiness and financial matters are two huge aspects of successful relationships.
You combined both - your lie was huge and you had many opportunities to fix it, but you chose not to. The lie was about finances - by being out of work, how would you afford to live? Eventually, you would have ran out of resources to be able to pay your share of the living costs, and how would that end for her? She would have to either carry your share or be stranded - which wouldn't be fair of her especially without any notice. If you had told her right away, she could have helped out with things such as budgeting and planning ahead.
I don't think that love would be able to hold me in a relationship with such a huge breach of trust. I would always wonder how many smaller things were being lied about, because if someone is capable of lying for months about something that would have such a huge impact on me, I wouldn't believe them incapable of lying about so many other things.
I'm sorry that this happened, but she's being quite clear on her desire to have the relationship over. There isn't always a way to fix things, and she's telling you that there isn't.
|
I completely agree with this post. The fact is, it wasn't just a HUGE lie, it was the granddaddy of all lies--it involved her future not just the OP's future. Being out of work is terrifying however, she was denied the opportunity to emotionally support him, was denied knowledge of the wolf moving toward the door....this was the biggest breach of trust (next to infidelity) that I've ever heard of.
It happened to my best friend years ago. Her husband said he got a job, went to work everyday...and 2 months later she called his work to talk to him about a matter regarding their kids, and was told he no longer worked there and had only worked there ONE WEEK. She was devastated and her mother had to pay to fly her and her 3 kids across country to her mothers because they were so deeply in debt--his unemployment didn't stop him from buying expensive 'toys' and going out to dinner 3 or four times a week. But I digress.
I'm sorry for the OP. But it's over. Time to take the lesson and move on.