According to my parents, I threw tantrums at a fairly young age when my mother forced me into dresses. It was a disaster, every time. This was early as two or three years of age, which is still a mystery to me.

Then there is an incident relating to costumes. I wasn't girly enough so my parents decided it was a good idea for me to take ballet lessons when I was around six? There was an event where us kids dressed up in costumes. I wanted to go as a pirate, but that wasn't deemed appropriate - so they put me into something flowery and "girlish". I felt so uncomfortable. Today I'd say I felt dysphoria.

The next thing that I remember (and this memory resurfaced only a few weeks ago [emoji33] ) is how horrible and ashamed and abysmal I felt when my breasts started developing.

There were phases when I managed to pass as a woman and felt ok with it, but at the moment dysphoria is bad and it's there constantly. I started binding recently and it helps a little, but generally my body just feels alien. What's "below the belt" doesn't bother me too much, but my female frame and the top half make me sick.