This sounds really hard.....hang in there.
It sounds like you have realized that you need to stay on the meds...we cycle faster and more often with each set back we have...so for your future sanity please take your meds.
I am sorry that you have crashed. Have you called your pdoc?
Could you go to the emergency room and be admitted?
Is there someone to saty with you until you feel safer, and sounder?
I wish you some peace today and hope that you are sleeping and better able to face the day.
(((HUGS))))
bizi