You will move on from this, you don't get over years and years of marriage without confused thoughts and churned up feelings. As another poster has pointed out, you really can't be responsible for him now - he's 44 and if he's serious about his recovery he will sort himself out and move on with his life. There's nothing to say he won't improve and remarry and begin to enjoy life again - but you can't be the one in charge of that. Any time you feel guilt i would remember all the ways you've been held back in your own recovery by this situation. You deserve only the best chance at happiness and if you know in your gut that this is the right thing to do all you can do is be gentle with yourself and allow these difficult feelings to wash over you and ease with time. All the best.