Picked up on you saying that usually your mother is kind and it got me to thinking about my own past experiences. One of the things my T has brought up is 'context' and acknowledging that hurtful comments may not actually be about me but more the struggle that the other person is going through... everyone has off days or lash out when they are dealing with problems of their own that we don't see (we're not mind readers)... and by the same context they don't see the damage or hurt they are inflicting.

My own mum when I was a child was pretty emotionally abusive without even realising the stress she was putting me under (I was treated as if I was an adult from 8 or so onwards when my dad uptailed and left). It's only recently and with respect to me opening up to her about stuff I've kept locked in (not wanting to cause an atmosphere between us) that she has apologised, emphasised and explained the bad place she was in at the time though it was no excuse.

Not sure if any of that helps but just a perspective I'm throwing out there. I am really sorry that you're having a hard time and I can fully sympathise with knocks to self esteem and the effect it has on our depression especially when it comes from those we love.