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Originally Posted by michelle666
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But a few months ago I went on a uni trip and All of a sudden I felt a connection with someone because they liked politics and dogs (I used to love politics but I shied away because of this and now I don’t care and I’m ok with that). After a few months of toil and not being able to stop thinking about it (I did tell me boyfriend at the time and we almost broke up and I have told him once whilst I was drunk) I sort of got over it (that’s what happens with me). I obsess over it for a good long time and sort of get over it but this connection wouldn’t go away and still appears a lot during my day.
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Hello Michelle: I had a similar "event" when working at an out of town gig (musician) where I became infatuated with a woman that I never even got to know! Somehow, I've been led to this site:
Attachment Disorder Site - providing hope and support.
- which has helped me understand what happened to me and why. In your case, therapy might help to deal with this IF it applies to you.
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But I still have incredibly horrific days :/. My feelings for that guy I know are not real- but in my head it will not go away.
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My "obsessions" went away and have stayed away because I kept telling my self that I am a HAPPILY MARRIED MAN now and that I made that same mistake in my previous marriage so that gave me the power and a good reason to resist my Attachment Disorder thing. Having some psychological understandings also helped me see that I was having some kind of childhood reaction to the other woman even if I did not know exactly what it was so that kept me faithful to my wife.
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Is there anyone else that can offer advice or has been in something similar.
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If I ever thought that I am a victim of Attachment Disorder, I would definitely see a professional about it but I feel pretty safe now that I know what happened to me up there and have some powerful coping skills to deal with any more outbreaks of this pattern that obviously came from a bad childhood, in my case. But if I ever found myself back in the grips of such an obsession, I'd go looking for help ASAP rather than let in ruin my wonderful marriage to a wonderful person. These mental/emotional afflictions need to be exposed and understood as much as possible even if our culture keeps on trying to ignore and DENY their devastating effects.
good luck and best wishes on your wedding,
jim
