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Originally Posted by BobbyDavis
What are your thoughts?
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I think that many people have given up on their "vows" and see marriage as a kind of room mate thing with the sex part as a separate item and not connected to the wedding vows at all so recommending getting your "needs" met out side the marriage makes perfect sense to many people. I think it STINKS to be so indifferent to our wedding vows but then, I've been guilty of cheating in the past - just not against my current partner now that I KNOW BETTER.
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I am still confused about open marriages though because it was more than one person that suggested it to me back then and knowing how much I loved my Wife it annoyed me that they thought I would be open to doing that.
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I believe the "open marriage" thing came because people did not know how to make a marriage work so they decided to just get their sex any way they could and still be married WITHOUT ever working on it.
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I honestly don’t have a problem with open relationships and if it works for a couple then that is good for them but I just don’t see how a person can say they really love their partner and sleep with other people and it seems more like they are roommates than a married couple. I could not do it because I loved my Wife too much and she was upset over the fact somebody suggested it to me. I would have rather spent the rest of my life in a sexless marriage with her than slept with other women because she was the only woman I wanted to do that with.
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IMO, the term "love" has a lot of different meanings but it usually means "NEED" instead of "love" so, such a person might NEED another person but that may not include feelings like: honor, respect, loyalty, empathy, commitment, friendship, trust and other concepts which are about love but not necessarily about NEED!
I'm glad that you and your wife had the class and intelligence to avoid getting into the Swinger life style which I'd imagine would eventually ruin a marriage. Congratulations on your baby and good luck,
jim
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riverwater
I have never seen any kind of marriage I would want to have. That being said, I am widowed, divorced, single and finally ok with me.
Relationships are so difficult and painful, I fail to see why anyone would want to make rules about them. They are what they are, no matter what you call them. good luck
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IMO, when partners LEARN HOW to make a relationship work, they will not be difficult or painful but quite wonderful. Good luck