Quote:
Originally Posted by regretful
I think that is a suggestion to join a chat room; or continue to reply to this post and "talk" it out through typing. I know that I've had some help with private messages to other members on these pages and in this community. The "talk to us" is also a suggestion to keep coming back here to get help.
|
I already use the chat room a lot though.
I find it hard to talk about myself overall because I draw nothing but blanks. Just a lot of blanks about my life. What I do. Where am I going. What I want out of life. I have desires I guess. I feel like they are unreachable for someone like me. It's what brings about depression. Yet I can't clear the snow so it just builds up and up and up. Crushing. A suffocating loneliness that comes from someone who manages to step on any opportunity because they are afraid; too cowardly to make a life for them-self. A person that breaks their own heart and then continues to grind it into the floor to see it squirm in agony.
"Please please get off of me I can't take anymore", but it continues on.
On and on and on and on and on.
Life isn't a competition. It shouldn't be but it is. Sure if I lie to myself I can make myself feel better. That I am going at my own pace. Absolute zero progress everyday. I am too cowardly for progress. Too lazy. I hope that maybe I can just slap myself with a diagnosis of some sort and that will explain everything. It won't. The simple answer is that I am dumb cowardly and lazy. The triforce of failure all in one person. That is all there is to it when it comes to someone like me.
I don't really expect help here. Just a place to talk with people who probably won't belittle and attack me as much as other places. Getting help is sort of a dying idea for me. Finding people like me. Impossible. Either way I find my jealousy to be devastating to any possible human bonding.