Baring in mind that I am no longer in hospital, this thread has come to an inevitable close... been a long journey and I just want to say one last time a
HUGE THANKYOU to everyone who has posted support, given hugs and been there for me in part/throughout this rather eye opening experience.
This will be my last post on this rather epically long thread (never imagined it would get to 40+ pages or that I would be in hospital for so long) but in closing I thought I'd address the replies below
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Originally Posted by Frankbtl
Hi TJ, time for an "official" welcome home then!!!
And although it might not be easy at times while you're adapting to it all (.........I'm sounding repetitive now, sorry) it does sound like your psychiatrist is actually seeing things from your perspective, and supportive??
And I was going to try to comment on some of the rest, but you know what really takes me back is how well you've been managing the problems with them getting your medication right, the going backwards and forwards and all the waiting around...........now how much anxiety and stress would that have caused you in the past??!!!
So it's pretty amazing how you're just throwing it in there, I dare say it caused some stress/anxiety........ but the difference between now and then.........well...... WOW!!!
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Well it helped that my wife was with me haha... and the staff on shift were ones I liked and are good at what they do... in addition to that, the ward was unusually quiet (considering there were 22 patients in a 28 bed ward), no one seemed to be around the common areas.
A few days before that I had come onto the ward and was dealing with a nurse who quite honestly is nice to talk to about general stuff... but is really quite lazy when it came to doing his job... + in addition to that, 3 patients were yelling in the corridor (not aggressive)... my stress built and I had to put my fingers in my ears and demand that we talked in a quieter area... I was very close to either punching a wall or falling to the floor and crying (which the nurse recognised).
So I guess it's all about context. Hopefully with time my stability and tolerance will grow.
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So remembering the breathing/grounding exercises and to reach out for support too (including to us!!) ??
And you know why not phone the ward, when you can, at times if it might help?? If there's a member of staff there you didn't particularly like..........well there's still the crisis team.........but otherwise there were staff there that you'd developed good relationships with (who I'm sure would want to help) so maybe..............
And you know (a point of contact/security in the knowledge of that ) why not start on the cooking, plan a visit/drop by for in a month's (?) time to catch up, and you bake a lemon drizzle cake to take along
But again, real respect in how well you are doing!!
Alison
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Thanks Alison. The crisis team is very much a short term thing here in the UK... was told today that support is likely to end once I'm assessed for cpn support on the 29th so after that... I'll be dealing with him or her.
As for visiting the hospital, not sure if that would be allowed to be honest but I am considering writing individual letters of thanks (and an overall letter to the ward in general) to staff that were amazing and I want to acknowledge the fact.
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Originally Posted by Idiot17
Good luck and all with the discharge.
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Thanks mate
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Originally Posted by waterknob1234
Hi TJ, good luck with discharge. Yes there will be challenges, but you have come a long way. You are a good person. I am also happy you have such a loving and supportive wife. We are all cheering for you.
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Thank you Waterknob

You're right, I have come a long way when I really think about it... the depression and anxiety is still there... but the dip that put me in hospital was pretty traumatic and I'm back to some level of clarity and seeing things through clearer eyes.
I am very lucky to have my wife and the support of friends and family... I never saw it in the past as I was so locked in and private about my mh (out of fear of rejection)... but when the damn burst, it was really emotional and warming to know how much others cared about me... makes me a little sad that I didn't trust them enough in the past to feel comfortable sharing the real me.
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Originally Posted by secretwhisper
Welcome home! I hope things continue to improve for you and that you start to manage those spirals and hopefully learn not to shut yourself away. It's hard I know it is, been in those spirals myself the last few days and it's kind of amazing that I haven't done anything "stupid"....
Anyway, if I had a glass of something I would raise it in a toast to you to your good health
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Secret...

I've felt quite a bit of empathy to your topics and posts from my own experiences and I'm glad to have you as a friend on here.
Glad to take from the latter part that I guess you're not drinking anymore. Made me smile in a kind of bemused way when I got home; The day before I went to hospital I'd bought myself a bottle of Jack Daniels... when I asked my wife in passing what had happened to it (not wanting it... but I'm a bit possessive of things I've spent money on) she told me she'd given it to her dad
Took it on the chin as he has done a lot for us in the past few months and beyond and yeah, with my meds it would be silly to drink anyway.
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Originally Posted by Rohag
Warm congratulations on the discharge!
As difficult as the transition may be, I hope you find aspects of it refreshing and encouraging.
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Thank you! Short and sweet I know but I speak to you in pm and on steam so I know you'll get how much I appreciate your comment
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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear
 (((((((((( TJ ))))))))))
Welcome home
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Same to what I said to Rohag, Fuzzy

Thank you!
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Originally Posted by emwell2
I read these last few posts after I sent you a PM. I am sorry you were having a hard time prior to discharge, but am happy to see you are discharged.
You mentioned something about " but give me a keyboard and I can type... ...." I met someone yesterday who gave me the link to her blog. It was wonderful. I ended up reading the whole thing. I bring this up because I wonder if you have ever considered writing a blog? I bet you'd do a nice job. Just a thought. Congratulations again.
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Wouldn't even know where to start with a blog

as in how such things really work or where to start one for viewing coverage. Thanks for both your pm and the congrats Emwell, very much appreciated and yeah
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Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK