Yeah. I'm trying to come up with reasons why my Drs have been wrong and this isn't really mania, but the more obsessed I seem to be with research and information and personal experiences I see I'm in denial, but knowing that doesn't make the desperate want for this to not be true go away.
Thanks everyone for the replies good to know I'm not alone.
Cashart, I also busy out in song randomly or I'll conduct. I've noticed this a lot more recently.