Sorry, I was not trying to analyze you, I was trying to say what I would tell myself as I am the distortion queen :-)
Like many of us, you want to be wanted by people you like. Perfectly normal but I was thinking that that may block interesting opportunities, like meeting unimaginably likable people like me, for example, who is in a wheelchair. :-) Some people do not know what to do first time they met me, but then, once they overcome the barrier (whatever that is) they feel more comfortable and some of them are even grateful for the opportunity. I am telling this because I was told that several times. Also I overcame some prejudices (mine are about political orientation) and then met great people ( I am talking about Republicans I love, thanks God they were patient enough to endure my initial stupidity )