I wish I could give you great advice here but I'm stumped. It's the same thing I had to go through with my ex. He never understood that I couldn't just pick up and go somewhere and that things had to be planned and that my time was as valuable as his. It's hard when that happens. We all want to have our feelings understood and validated and when the ones who mean the most to us make us feel unworthy or judged, it's not fair and very difficult to deal with the guilt they make us feel. I'm sorry you're having to cope with that on top of your other worries. I wish I could send more than hugs but I hope it's sufficient for now.
((((((((Jess)))))))))))

Per ardua ad astra
Motto of the Royal Canadian Air Force
"through adversity to the stars"
www.jeffgordon.com