I've been in CBT for the past 6 months and I've shown progress though there are times where I go through bouts of depression and anxiety, depending on the situation.

Specifically, these past two weeks have been exhausting on my psyche and body. I've cried so much and want to call someone but feel like no one wants to hear me complain. I've been ruminating and thinking a lot but trying to control the thoughts by meditating, reading every day, practicing forgiveness, staying active, hanging with friends, listening to my favorite music, staying productive at work - the list goes on. I noticed that after each of these activities where I'm driven to distraction and immersed in them, I am at ease for awhile and then I relapse to my old ways quickly. I breathe and remind myself to stay in the moment but my mind is so foggy.

Some things on my mind are:

• Recently losing my first love - memories, mistakes, regrets
• Accepting my mistakes
• Regretting my decisions
• Feeling proud of my accomplishments
• Am I making the right decisions about work and school?
• Inner peace - silencing the inner voice
• Hiding my depression from certain people
• Low Self-Confidence/Self-Esteem, believing in myself

I am doing my best to get through this break-up, ongoing depression and move forward but it feels so difficult because I let the little things affect my mood.

Am I doing this right? Of all the resources I've been using and activities, why am I still having a hard time breaking out of these bad moods and bouts of sadness and anger? I feel so defeated. I am consciously making the choice to be happy but it's so difficult. When will I feel good again?