but here's the thing... you can be like "YUP this is who i am" and such when your not depressed... but that is the time in which you need to establish it more than just "Yup" ya know what i mean? strengthen yourself when your not in the state, so that once you are in the state, you can get yourself out more easily.... i guess that doesn't do much good for you now, since that is what your feeling now... but take some time... some time for just you... even isolate yourself for a bit if u need to... because to find yourself, the thing that we must get beyond is dependancy... because it is dependancy that shrouds us from who we are at those times. This is what i did last summer... and it worked unbelievebly well... so here's the advice, even though i'm probably being redundant... don't go online, don't talk to anyone, and go shopping... by yourself... look at the things that you wouldn't normally like, and analyze them, because sometimes it is in a standard we put ourselves in that keeps us from choosing those things that we tend to drift towards... steph, there's the thing, i noticed once when i was shopping with you that you were really interested in PacSun, but a shirt you had from there was called "preppy" or something like that... and then you seemed to not be as interested... it is things like that... little things... i know you are pretty set in your morals... there's the first thing... style identity, though only material, is more important than you might think. That is why i am on my quest for randomness because the things that are offered to us in malls and such are not as much ME as some of the things i have had idea's for and seen online. I am trying to break away from the standards i have set for myself and it is hard... but style is part of your identity, and if you can master the smaller things such as style, you can move on to what plagues you now. Ya know what i mean? It is the times in which you are unsure that you need to go back and make a complete overhaul of yourself... and i am saying this remembering the feeling that i had when i found myself. The feeling is quite liberating. I don't know what else to say... but there are a thousand things going through my mind when talking about all this... there are so many things you can do... just remind yourself of the things that you know, and you will find the rest of yourself in time. Good luck with that.
~Julie
(lol, steph, this is how i get my mind going when i come here and talk to ppl... its almost like i am talking to someone anonymous to me, and not steph, lol)

"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..."
~Gustav Havel - existentialist