Being alive feels embarrassing.

I feel stained with embarrassment. I made a poem about it. Not sure anyone actually wants to read it though.

Why is it so hard being alive. Not like I have a hard life or anything. I didn't exactly draw a bad hand. I just can't play the game. Constantly feeling pathetic. This constant embarrassed feeling because of how bad I am at this game. I can't connect with anyone.

No friends. People dislike talking to me or just plain hate me without having to talk. Siblings don't like me. Parents probably don't like me. Probably ashamed of me. The ugly duckling.

Getting asked about my life is embarrassing and overall fills me with shame.

If I were dead I would probably be embarrassed because I would get asked what did I do with my life and I would say the same answer I do now. "Nothing."