I feel an anxiety flair as I approach and impending four days at the beach with my issue ridden family of origin. My relationship with my mom has been tumultuous in the past. She is an extremely difficult person but in the recent year has been much "nicer" than she was previously except for a few events so as long as I keep my guard up I am not worried about her that much.

My relationship with my dad is just so tainted and uncomfortable to me mostly because we basically do not have one and I have insidious guilt about it. Therapy, EMDR, and some light hypnosis have helped me with both parents but I think I need a tune up. When I was a child and a younger person my dad and I were super "close". It was actually an extremely inappropriate and damaging situation with parentification and triangulation and he used me as his therapist. Every emotional issue he could have had he dumped on me. He talked about his troubles with my mother to me all the time, and his worries about finances (and how our problems were my mom's fault) etc etc on and on. So needless to say I felt solely and completely responsible for taking care of him emotionally. Once I became an adult dealing with my own mental health issues and realizing the true damaging nature of this I stopped exposing myself to this and I told him I didn't want to talk about these things anymore. Consequently we now have no real relationship. And I feel guilty.

On top of this I have had issue after issue with him because it turns out he is actually extremely difficult. He has no respect for me as an adult or a parent and disregards most of my feelings or issues. He is unknowingly condescending and insecure and his only form of conversation is lecture and if you admit you already know what he is telling you he gets offended (a trait shared by my brother and sister).

Anyway, when I am with him I just want to avoid him because I feel icky in his presence.

Anybody have a situation like this? And what coping strategies do you have?

My brother is immature and insecure and shares many of my dad's unhealthy social characteristics.

My sister is just a mess. I mean I think she has what the DSM should call "Totally effing weird NOS". She is just impossible in every way. And she has a boundary less indulgent aggravating relationship with my oldest son. Where she is totally using him to fulfill her own emotional needs which obviously hits a raw nerve for me. she has no children, has never had a relationship at 30, has no friends, and just lost her job because she can't get along with people or cope with any situation, she also has health issues. If you're wondering she sees a damaging elderly Freudian therapist (completely enmeshed. Has been with her over ten years) and a pdoc who she won't listen to because she thinks she should "be able to handle her own problems" and that her problems are not chemical but "because of her life stressors". Anyway. She is like a big toxic needy rain cloud who may husband agrees he feels like he needs to cleanse his energy after being around her.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent!

Anybody deal with crap like this? How do you keep it from getting you?