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Originally Posted by granite1
hey IRL were you diagnosed with BPD before you saw this T? did she agree to see you knowing your diagnoses. some of this just sounds classic textbook for treating BPD . all the boundaries and stuff . it just makes me wonder if she was different before because she didn't know you diagnoses
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Granite, yes, absolutely. When I went to interview her (and the other T's I was considering) I told them all right away that I had a history of cutting, ED and I was Borderline, and did that affect their desire to work with me as I know some providers choose not to have Borderlines on their roster. So yes. She was aware.
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Originally Posted by pmbm
InRealLife45, I totally get your struggle with your T. I got really attached to my last T and she started acting a little like your T. I know you don't have this, but I have a dissociative disorder and I found out my last T was a big fan of Janina Fisher ( Janina Fisher, PhD :: Welcome). |
I can't sayfor sure, but I do not think my T is interested in the work of this person. Her reading list is more...modern. Energy healing, attachment theory, etc.
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Originally Posted by Luce
They count. She addressed your letter. She said you would talk about it on Monday.
You asked her to respond and she did - it just wasn't in the way you wanted.
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Of course it wasn't in the way I wanted, (the way we had set up) and the reason for the email was to let me know SHE had decided not to honor our e-mail agreement in this case. Having requested and expected her to do what we have set up to do on Fridays does not suddenly make me bad or wrong as you and hankster and scorpiosis are suggesting. It's a standing practice between us. I send an e-mail-I get a reply friday. The only difference this time is it was a handwritten letter instead of an e-mail bc my laptop was dead, but my request in itself is not "asking too much" or "expecting too much" or "wanting to feel special."
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Originally Posted by hankster
But it feels like you wanted a reply yesterday, which feels like it would have opened her up to another request today and tomorrow. Instead, she tried to set a boundary around your request to include the weekend and hold you in there.
But you pop out of the hold like a jumping bean and say it doesnt "count"? Like a toddler who wont go down for a nap. Newsflash - nobody is keeping count. The adults are gonna keep on doing what they need to do until the toddler wears herself out. Until the pain of staying the same becomes worse than the pain of changing.
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And Hankster, -Actually, It
doesn't count for either one of us. Email responses such as the one liners she gave and ones about scheduling, which both of them were- are not charged/are exempt from inclusion in the
email agreement, and frankly I'm surprised she chose to respond in that way when a text would have sufficed. Paid email responses are responses that address the content of the email(s) sent, and are at least one full paragraph. Not one sentence. That is our agreement. One sentence saying no I'm not going to reply hardly COUNTS as a paid email
based on our email agreement, which I've been excellent at abiding by.
So well in fact that Some weeks I just don't send anything so it doesn't have to be enacted (I send nothing, get nothing). And I do not ever reply to her weekly email, via email, I write out whatever my thoughts are and I bring them to my next session to read to her.
So your assumptions would be incorrect. I would not have made another request as I've been working very hard at respecting her boundaries. I did not beg her to reconsider the "discuss it in Monday," message she sent. I made a request that was in keeping with the agreement we had already set up.
I am not a toddler having a tantrum, but thank you for the comparison. And you can choose to read or not, as is your prerogative.