Wow, your father reminds me a lot of mine.

I would not invite your father to your wedding if you don't want him there. Is there a chance he will find out about it from someone else? Can you ask family members to keep him out?

You didn't end the relationship with your father because of money, btw. It's in trouble because he can't control his behavior around his family or other people. He seriously didn't speak to you for half a year when you asked him to have dinner with you separate from the celebration with your mother? That is absolutely ridiculous.

The stunt he pulled, manipulating you into setting up a meeting with your mother and then going ballistic -- that is also not about money. As we get older, I think we realize that our parents aren't actually infallible.

For me, I often feel like my father showed no interest in supporting us when we were kids -- why should I pretend to care about seeing him now that I am an adult? He only ever thinks about himself - it's what he did when we were kids and it's what he does now. When he had a triple bypass a few years ago, none of his kids visited him in the hospital. Sometimes you really do reap what you sow.

I'm sorry your father is the way he is - and congratulations on your wedding!