Most everyone with Bipolar has done some terrible crazy life altering things ..its part of the beast ..
Right now you need to get into treatment and follow through no matter how many times your brain wants you to quit it all. Will probably be Medications and Therapy long term.

Is your wife willing to go into couples counseling ? If so put every ounce of yourself into regaining her trust.

In time you will indeed learn ways to deal with your particular brand of bipolar as everyones in unique and you can have a wonderful life despite the ups and downs with Bipolar.

Welcome to PC I hope you find the support and load of information here that can be of help to you