It is really a shame that our families have been rotten to us, at times when we needed them the most. I fear mine - what would they say, think, and do if they knew the whole story? It is sad that I can't turn to them for support, they would only react as yours, OE, and especially one of my siblings, who I know would worry not about me, but about how my "mental illness" would reflect on her. F them if that is how they feel, there are times I think I would be better off without them entirely, and I reserve that right in the future. I just don't need toxic people in my life.

OE, I wish you could find more of a sense of catharsis by opening up about things - you have discussed a lot lately that you never used to, but you still are seemingly conflicted because of "their rules" of sweeping everything under the rug. You must know we are "safe" here, you must know we want to hear about you, your struggles and challenges. You give so much, it is all we can do to give back, to listen, you should know we will do it willingly and offer whatever support we can. You are such a giving person, I cannot believe those IRL can't see that. I know, people pigeon hole us and think of us as monoliths in relationships - my family never treated me like or respected me as an adult, they still don't respect my right to live as I choose, I am always getting snide comments about how much time I spend riding or at the gym, or because I am "never home" and am " mysterious".