When my grandmother was dying (she was 100 years old!) I could not, just could not, go to the nursing home to see her. My mother had died just the year before and I'd had a number of other recent deaths. My family members were there with my grandmother. She and I had a definite respect and a certain love for each other, but we'd never been very close. Honestly, I never have regretted not going to see her just before her death. And that's the truth. Strangely, I hope that when I'm dying my family comes to see me...but maybe I won't feel that way when it's actually happening. Your decision might be the best one for both you and your grandma. Do you think that's possible?