My name is bellenuit. I am a 30 year survivor of Bipolar disorder and PTSD.This is my first post here but I am not a stranger to online support. In the early days of my disorder I spent long hours with wonderful people who helped me through some very rough patches.

My issues began near age 12. I spent the next 32 years in and out of the hospital trying desperately each day to find a reason to remain on this earth for another day. I went through many medications, many therapists, and several psychiatrists. In 2009 the psychiatrist that I still see suggested I try Electroshock. While I realize this is not the answer for everyone, after trying every type of medications and countless hours of therapy I had to do something or they were going to lock me away permanently.

My life is so different now. While I still occasionally have issues with being over confident or too pessimistic also taking on too much or not wanting to get out of bed. For the most part, life is much better. My husband and I are still together (almost 23 years) and the kids are doing great (now 18 and 19). I may be out of my mind but I decided to go back to school to get my Masters. I was feeling lonely with the kids gone at class/college and out with friends I decided I really needed to keep myself busy.

My goal in coming here is to pay back (if I can in some way) the help and support given to me over the years. If anyone needs someone to listen I'll be happy to lend an ear.

belle