Holy moly. I have been trying to read all of this. Took a while. Just a note to say; what happened was not the computer telling me to shut up; lol. It was someone who said that others needed to talk; but not in a nice way. The other member that I was speaking with; we were just talking about cats. Nothing major. I was not there to just stare at the computer screen.
If someone wants to talk well please do. I was in chat to get my mind off of hurting myself so if I seemed to babble; well thats why. Instead of hurting myself, I came on here. Like I have said; many times I have came on with several others in chat. It has been hard to talk in there. I understand that and its okay. I would never tell someone that they are "taking the floor".
I suggest if someone has to speak and can't seem to get in there; just say; can I talk about something I need to.
Yes that is hard to do. Don't think that its easy for me either. I am ashamed of my thoughts and feelings about wanting to die and harming my body. I dont like to tell people that. but if I dont; I will hurt myself. I am sorry to those who were in chat last night. I did not mean to not allow anyone to talk. I can't express enough how much I love to listen to others; I WANT TO HELP. Its hard to help others right now because its hard to even function. When you live on 2-3hrs of sleep a night; for the last 4 months; well you get a little grumpy. Its hard to come up with ideas for others when your brain cant function well. Look at the stupid things I do. Burning myself; falling asleep at the wheel. I am so scared right now. I just want to bury myself in a hole. I dont have any hope right now and I am sorry if my negativity has brought anyone down. I do stand by the fact that I think it was wrong what happened last night in chat. People need to be more tactful when they speak. If someone feels like they have an issue with others; fine, that will happen. We are all people here and we will have problems with each other from time to time.
Just remember that we are all emotional and fragile right now; watch what u say and keep this in mind.
I am not angry at any of u. ((Leslie)) Please dont think it was you I was upset with. I love u dearly and I dont want something like this to change our friendship. I think of you every minute of everyday and I do pray for u dear. I wish I had the answer for everyone; I would fix our difficulties. I am not a hateful person and I am very easy to get along with. If someone hurts me though; I will say so. Thats just me. Like I say, I am not angry with this anymore; its done so lets get over it and move on. I dont want to focus on this. I dont deny that I have feelings of hurt but I will get over it. I am just struggling with keeping safe right now. I cant express enough how scared I am and I am trying to keep a open mind with regards to my kids.
Funny though; did I not say this was just a little note. He He. We all know I babble. lol lol lol. Oh, when I babble; just a hint; I am not doing well. There is something going on; thats all.
itsjustme-being a babbler.
Love u all.