Thank you everyone. I have found a lot clarity in your words. You are right that it's a kind gesture and a reach out to me by my brother.
I think the place I am in now, it's not good for me to see anyone that really doesn't understand what I'm going through. I'm sitting here crying and thinking it's not fair we can't just be how we were.

I am getting help. I've been on meds for 4.5 years and have just added a new one to the mix. My doctor has been good and gave me a couple of days off work, but wanted to give me more but I am so confused on what to say to work. I hate lying but I don't want to be judged, the last place I worked at sacked me because I took a week of stress leave. I have a psychologist and psychiatrist appointments but not til 2 weeks time. All I want to do is sleep and lie on the couch. I have been finding so good articles on here about eating well, write down accomplishments, etc which has been really good to chunk down getting through the day.

Anyway, I have found such strength in all your comments that I will contact my brother when I'm feeling stronger and take it one step at time with no expectations.

Thank you all so much.