I don't know why I get out of bed either. It took me 4 hours to get out of bed, I woke up at 7 AM, but my mind just wanted me to go back to sleep, because every day is the same, it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I finally woke up at around 1 PM, because I HAVE to. Not because I want to.

Time just flies, I'm not ready, I want to live my life at a very slow pace, but I'm forced to run at uncomfortable speeds, because time waits for no one.

I have desires too, but they're not achievable tomorrow, It will take time and effort and I need to be able to handle criticism for that too, three things I'm not very good at is patience, hard work and criticism. I'm uber sensitive.

I don't know why I wake up either.... maybe it's because I don't want to end things, I'm alive because I don't want to die, not because I want to live. There's only two choices, maybe there's still some hope inside me that I don't know of.

I can't even make friends online, why would someone want to listen to my troubes anyway? My mom doesn't hate me, but she prefers that I not talk to her, even though she won't say it.. but I've realized recently that I want my mom to be a little happier, and the only way I can do that is by not spreading my misery to other people.