Hi Berkut:
Wow my heart really goes out to you!
I am a guy so my vision of independence may be different than yours but, I too was raised to be DEPENDENT. I am the 2nd child so our parents never asked for or allowed me to be independent, assertive, lead, think for myself, take responsibilities and GROW UP like my older brother who was usually my Boss and alter-parent at home.
We worked for our parents on a farm so we did not learn how to manage money or do many other basic things that other kids were being taught by their "healthier" parents. I learned to cook, iron my clothes, wash clothes, sew, fix machines and some other useful things but had very bad people skills and was very DEPENDENT - on my brother mostly. When I left home, right after high school, I soon learned that I was profoundly ill prepared to live out in the world and had many unhappy conflicts with others while trying to figure out HOW TO LIVE on my own.
I am a "loner" so I was somewhat independent BUT never like others my age or with my talents and skills. I could work on my own car, find my own apartments and a lot of other "practical" things but had extremely bad people skills so I didn't connect well with females or even many other males at work. I was a kind of "drifter" who just didn't fit in to a normal life all because we were given very bad and inadequate parenting years before when we worked for our parents on our farm and did not get a normal, natural, healthy childhood.
So all I can offer is what I finally did to overcome my inadequate parenting and damaged childhood.
I entered therapy at about 49 and spent most of my time in support groups like ACOA and CODA with a little Al-anon, AA and Incest Survivors included. I believe that my real independence began when I studied Self Esteem and began seriously using the 3rd step of AA. For me, independence comes down to how good and respectful I FEEL about my self. I never had that FEELING at home thanks to our low self worth parenting so it came slowly but is now complete as far as I can tell.
My "dreams" are not as colorful as yours but the FEELING of wholeness and independence is good enough for me. If I never accomplish anything else or have a family (I am 76 now), just FEELING whole and complete is quite enough for me.
good luck getting your self back,
jim