I feel the same way with music. I talk trough it. I cant talk with words about feelings, cant hold on to them as long as i should if i'd talk. So I use music. I let everybody now what mood i'm at with it. Its my survival tactic. Its my way to relate.

This is how i use music;

"I cant feel emphaty, but i can post u a song that moves u. That gives u a sense or feeling that I'd care. Actually i dont. But u get the feeling i do. And thats how i keep u under my fingers. I let u feel what i want u to feel without saying anything. Without making promises or talking, but u take it like a promise, u think i feel. Actually it is not me feeling.. its u. "

My friend called my couple of monts ago and said her brother just died. I replayd ; and u seek help from me? Call someone else.

She knows me and she knows my lack of emphaty. She didnt have no-one else to call. So i posted her a song. She replayd " I knew u'd care. I knew u cared ! " - i didnt. but she still thinks i do, becouse of one song i posted. Music is my survival kit. And my never ending field of emphaty that only exists in a heart of listener.