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Originally Posted by dadhatesme
but why do you have to be a jerk.
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He's a "jerk" because that is how he was raised and he has never bothered to learn anything better about being a parent or a person. He is TRAPPED in the mindless conditioning his own parents put into him PLUS he may be trying to get some REVENGE by hurting you (and others like his wife?).
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Whenever he would come home from work at 6pm, my mom would tell me to turn off anything if I was watching tv or playing xbox. And i would either way if she didnt warn me. Even though i was physically stronger than him, I still had this fear of him. It was like respect by fear.
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Yep, she's afraid of him too! It's pretty sad when a mean parent has his whole family backed into a corner with the FEAR of him - but real satisfying to the hostile offender! Our frightening dad had his whole family TERRIFIED of him!
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I was beat sometimes when i was a kid, but thats like an indian thing, and i had told my middle school counselor and had cops come, so they stopped after that.
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GOOD FOR YOU! When my older brother went to school with PURPLE WELTS across his back from dad's belt, the authorities came out to talk with our ignorant parents and the savage beatings stopped but the verbal abuse continued on!
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My dad hates me now for it.
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I'd say that he HATES him self and is projecting his bitterness out and onto you because it hurts too much to keep it inside of himself.
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I know you may say that 'he's you father and worried about you', but there's a limit to that.
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Anyone who say stuff like that is just trying to find EXCUSES for a badly behaving parent who they don't dare question or confront. He's NOT worried about you - he's worried about his own reputation and image!
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But whenever I will be watching anything or reading comics on my phone, he'll say stop 'wasting your time' or 'grow up your doing childish things'. And the one that HURTS THE MOST is if my little brother(he's 9) is near me and wants to see what comic i'm reading on my phone or what game i'm playing, he'll say to me 'Turn that off. You've already ruined your life, don't ruin his'.
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Your father is a very angry, frustrated and sadistic man. Does your mother EVER defend you kids and stand up to her abusive, sadistic husband on your behalf?
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i just dont know why he does this to me. I dont know why he does this to me. I feel like if he cant cause me physical pain, he can cause me mental pain. And it hard to deal with.
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He most likely had a ROTTEN childhood thanks to terrible parenting and has never found a way to HEAL his own early emotional wounds so his pain and anger is being VENTED all over innocent bystanders in his family. Is he this way with adults?
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My mother seems to understand a little bit, but cant help.
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Well there's the problem! You have a mean, angry, sadistic father and a spineless mother so you are basically all alone and defenseless in that abusive environment!
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How am i supposed to act strong in front of him and be the one he can rely on, if i just end of being weak and cry and think about dying.
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There's not much that you can do to protect him from being damaged by his hopelessly inadequate and harmful parents! Just be the best role model you can be for your brother.
I'm not sure what country you live in but, here in the US, you could just walk out on you pathetic parents at 18 and NEVER look back!
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He was born in india and came from a village, and rose to be able to come to America, so i know he didnt have the things i have. I know that. But i just dont understand why he has to raise me like him.
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It's either sheer stupidity OR he firmly believes in the (hurtful) way that he was raised and would not ever dare question how his parents raised him. I believe that in India it is strictly FORBIDDEN TO EVER QUESTION ONE'S PARENTS OR THEIR PARENTING.
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And why is he doing the same thing to my brother? Whenever i see the things they do to him, it kills me inside.
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They are both hopelessly IGNORANT about the harm they are doing to their own kids!
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I dont want this mental pain.
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I don't blame you there. So, what are your plans to fix things in your family or for your self? At 19, it seems to me that you now have the power to make a positive difference in your life and maybe your brother's life too. What are you going to do about this?
Good luck dealing with those horrible parents,
jim
