It seems like you and her actually have more problems that good times . Your insecurities ? If my husband asked me all the time if I was happy and wanted to stay in the relationship blah blah blah it would drive me away not closer .

Allowing your angry to caused you to smash things is unacceptable across the board.. You get upset when she walks away when the arguments occur ? She is doing the RIGHT thing... Its always better to walk away and cool off and think before addressing "hot" topics .

If she is unwilling to go to counseling with you then thats her decision you have choice but accept it.. You and her have so many problems in this fairly shot amount of time... Shes not happy your not happy .. Maybe ending the realtionship is the smartest thing for both of you.

Meanwhile you need to get into therapy and deal with your issues and learn healthier ways to have a relationship.

Good luck