Yes, that is because "functioning" requires thinking forward and that helps to shut down the emotional part of the brain that can get so overwhelming that
a person feels depressed so much.

You would do much better with being in motion and being productive at the same time. If you had an ongoing project that you were doing that was a physical project, you would wake up feeling more motivated. Something that has nothing to do with having to identify the part of you that you struggle to identify and are confused about.

A lot of the creative people that have produced things we have come to admire and appreciate have been people that always had projects going on all their lives, be it works of art, buildings, creative writings, musical compositions, whatever, these individuals are usually in constant motion on to the next creation. Many of these individuals did not participate in one long term relationship either in what would be considered "traditional".

It just sounds like you are trying to belong to a picture when instead you just need to create you "own" picture in whatever way helps you tick.