I haven't been on computer much, but thank all of you for being here. A couple of days ago my mood completely turned around and I was feeling great. Now I am just eh again. I do have a pdoc to call, but I try to wait and see if it really warrants a call. My meds have been doing so well for so long I just don't want to screw a good thing up . I did talk to my husband about it and he just said he didn't mean it. I tried talking to him about my safety (he has a gun under his pillow) and his response was about him. It seems everyone around me have to one up or ignore what is happening to me. It is hard not having someone to hold my hand when my mind is whacked out. I just keep wondering what is going to happen when I can't control myself anymore .