it doesn't get better. i've had 11 surgeries on left breast reconstruction and frankly, i'm about to lose it with the pain. it's like nothing else. i can't describe it. it is 24/7.

i want this implant out but i can't get health insurance and i don't have $2500 laying around for the surgery. i'm brain-storming frantically, as i don't know if i can survive this. i'd like some pain free years. it's been 32 years.

i can take it out myself.......but i can't sew it up. David can't take it out. he's an ER doc and doesn't have surgery privileges (except ER( at the hosp. i've actually thought about taking it out and then showing up at a good ER for closure. i really cannot tell you the constant pain that i'm in. it's beyond anything that i can live with much longer.

i'm sorry, Juliana, to unleash all of this. but it is eating my lunch. the implant is being moved, by adhesions, to under my left arm. you can imagine how that feels.

i certainly pray that yours gets better with time. if i had been told the truth about reconstruction, i would have gone breastless and had tattooes put on my chest. *not of breasts........flowers and a greyhound)