Losing my grip real fast. Going into a mixed episode. I'm all over the place. Ok in the morning, depressed by lunch and over the top by evening. Tonight I'm totally wired and I panic because I'm alone. Obsessed with making iTune playlists, been cooking all night and ready to start cleaning. I hate going through this alone.

My boyfriend has no idea about my illness and he knows somethings up. I'm gonna lose him, I just know it. I'm in no shape to talk to him about it right now.

I have no intentions on taking my meds tonight. Too much to get done.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this