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Originally Posted by Ryan.l.s
as a man how would you reveal (to your significant other or to a close friend) about your abusive past?
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My life became so bad that I had to get into therapy and began attending sharing meetings. I am a public entertainer but it took me a long time to finally begin telling my story to strangers. Now I see that it was because I just didn't have the words or a "feelings'' language so I had to listen to many others and study some books to find the words and phrases to express my churning, damaged feelings and thoughts in sharing meetings. After a while, I became very good at letting it all hang out and came to realize that holding in painful, angry feelings is very destructive. I began to feel much better as I allowed years of bottled up RAGE to come pouring out in a safe (sometimes ) way so I started telling EVERYBODY about my abusive, unhappy, frightening past. To my amazement, most people outside of sharing meetings DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT!
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Would you only tell them if they (for whatever reason) asked, or would you want to someday tell them in order to feel closer to them?
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Spilling my guts to friends and family never brought me any closer to anyone and even drove some of them AWAY! So I had to learn how and what to tell others to avoid conflicts, ridicule or STONEY SILENCE! Letting old painful feelings come out (they were coming out anyway!) was the best thing I ever did and there are many books and schools of therapy dedicated to helping people open up and RELEASE their bottled up feeling BEFORE those painful, urgent feelings DESTROY their owner and perhaps others like those kids who shot up innocent students at Columbine and other such outbursts.
I see all of those shootings as bottle up RAGE bursting to the surface in an uncontrolled way.
