Sorry - I was too vague here, I did not want to take the pills and alcohol together so I didn't. I thought I'd made it clear enough when I said I was too much of a control freak to die like that.

I do think telling me to 'get a grip' was not very useful though. I genuinely don't care how scornfully you view me. However, someone else going through a suicidal crisis might find that harsh. The whole point of being seriously afraid you might harm yourself means there is a distinct lack of grips available to your inner resolve at that moment

In addition, while you are quite right and it is dangerous to mix benzos and alcohol, a lot depends on the tolerance of the person. I have drunk a bottle of wine on 10mg diaz and just felt incredibly mellow. Several times, I have had a large glass of wine with a 2mg diaz to ramp it up and make it more effective.