Quote:
Originally Posted by Nat92
So, in about 2 weeks it'll be 5 months since my ex left me and I haven't exactly gotten any wiser.
As someone who always helps others, gives the advice that aids them with moving on and getting better - but never taking it myself.
I come to you guys, seeking help.
We spoke a bit after the break up, but it didn't last because I wouldn't be able to move on while staying in contact, so I left him a long message explaining why and deleted him, removed him, blocked him from everything.
This is about 3 months ago and until a few days ago, I was doing OK. I was moving on or trying to, taking my mind off things but I still missed him and still do miss him.
I get these periods, where a memory somewhat completely overtakes me, I feel it reply, I feel what I felt in that moment and it's nice but scary too. A kiss, I feel as if it just happened and I get the butterflies and everything...
I don't know where it comes from, because I feel that I'm in no way suppressing these feelings. I don't think about him all the time, I can focus on something else.
I feel more than ready to move on, but it's like my heart doesn't want to.
I fear I may be on my way to become one of those crazy ex's who's in denial and who tries to keep holding onto the past.
I don't want to turn crazy.
And I'm starting to realize that a part of me may be holding onto an old picture of my ex, that the last day I visited him, may have been the day he knew he was going to leave me and that he didn't love me anymore.
And I lived in this illusion of what we were.
I just really fear that I'm turning myself into this insane ex.
I'm not wanting to contact him, but I miss him.
How can I move on? I'm really trying, so so so hard.
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I know how you feel. It's been 9 months since my ex broke up with me. We dated for 8 months and since we split, we've spoken and hung out. I thought I could handle being friends but really, I wasn't being honest with myself. Only now I realize that my worst fear has come true: he's seeing someone new. There's nothing I can do or say. It's happened to me before where guys have moved on to someone new but they didn't mean much to me as this person does. I've moved on but still hold on to those memories. I feel so numb and humiliated. The last time we spoke was almost a month ago and since then I've not said a word to him and I really have no urge to contact him for anything. I think of him more than I care to admit but it doesn't do much. This quote sums up everything that I've felt:
"Sometimes our mind knows exactly what the truth is but our heart keeps persuading us that it is not true. We tend to trick ourselves into believing what we want to believe, what we hope to be true. Then until that one person tells the truth directly to your face, your feelings just get hurt so bad...by what you already know. Then you collapse. The truth itself is difficult to handle but the truth from that one person who you wish would tell you otherwise is the worst."
Good luck to you, Nat92.