> It's when you walk into a party you don't know that many people and the girls just give you an up and down. I am sure I do it to chicks too sometimes. Yes, competition.

Yeah. And I'd agree that some girls have a very relational view of self esteem that can come off as a 'better than you' 'worse than you' assessment of superficial qualities. Guys can do this too, however, with pissing contest / show off behaviour. This being said I don't think that everyone engages in this. It is partly a defensive manouver, I think. While some people are so defensive they just can't seem to get past it... Sometimes smiling in a friendly way so people think 'she isn't assessing me negatively, she seems to like me!' is enough to get people to stop it. Refraining from participating in the 'oh my God look at her' kinds of conversations can also mean that one establishes a reputation by distinguishing oneself as a person with depth who people seek out precisely because they know you aren't likely to ***** behind their back and / or judge them harshly.

b) I think your comment about men being nice because they might be in with a chance is quite sad.

Ah. I didn't mean it in a 'getting into your pants' kind of way. I meant it more in the 'taking the friendship to the next level' kind of a way. Male chivalry ain't quite dead in the sense that guys can often be fairly protective and caring in a brotherly / father way of looking out for you whereas you are less likely to experience that kind of relationship with other females... Though... Maybe (for me at least) I might be inclined to see things this way because I always was looked out for / nurtured from my father more than my mother and I've found my male friends to be similarly nurturing and accepting.

c) I will not go out with someone who is insecure with my male friends.

Ah. I didn't quite mean that either. What I meant there was that later in life... Well, it would make sense that you would have more in common with female friends when it comes to such things as childbirth and having toddlers and the like. Those kinds of events tend to bring women together in a mutually supporting kind of way rather than a competitive kind of way where females are trying to distinguish themselves from the crowd. Of course I would expect you to continue to have male friends and to hang with them sometimes!

> Hmmm I like hearing others' thoughts...

Me too :-)