Right... sometimes I feel like I am betraying myself when I don't stand up for myself...... It's like I'm telling people... "you just say and do whatever you want... I'm your punching bag... I won't get even, or mad.. and you can just use me to your heart's content". And that attitude really bothers me... It isn't what I think at all. and it's not how I want people to see me.

And then there is the other extreme where I can fly off the handle, and do extremely mean and petty things to get even and let my attackers know that they will have a fight on their hands if they mess with me. And that isn't right either......it gives people too much power, and it makes me feel guilty.....