For me, great sex requires an altered state of consciousness, one that transcends the mundane and takes flight without restrictions. It's not just physical. It's mental and emotional. Definitely not intellectual.

If my partner was so insecure and such a control freak that he wanted to monitor my head space while I'm transcending normal existence and melting into the moment ... well, we'd have trouble.

I happen to hate porn. I hate strip clubs. My H came with a past and I made it clear early on that those things wouldn't be part of the present, not if he wanted a future with me. He agreed and it's been great. If he glances at a beautiful woman it doesn't bother me because I do my own glancing, too, at handsome men. Discreetly.

I have to wonder what the problem is here. Is it that the BF or H is rubbing it in, telling you he can't get off unless he's thinking about someone or something else while making love to you, or is it something you're trying to monitor and control because of your own insecurities.

Is he comparing you unflatteringly to strippers, porn stars and sexy celebrities or is that comparison taking place in your own mind?

If the problem is in your own mind or due to your jealousy and insecurities, getting some counseling to build up your confidence and to learn how to stop sabotaging your relationship with unreasonable demands might be in order.

If he's rubbing it in, saying mean things repeatedly -- maybe it's time to reconsider the relationship.