i don't feel comfortable with female t's because, well i'll be honest, my mother. my mother caused a lot of my emotional issues and i have issues with women in general. i can't stand women's groups, women's get-togethers. i've always been the one to have male friends and hang around the guys. i will need extra therapy if i ever have a daughter, but so far, all boys *phew*.
for me, i actually find it easier to talk about my emotions with my male t because he's matter of fact. he *cares* but he doesn't... oh what am i trying to describe? the female t's i've been around or worked with in some capacity have a tendency to be *feely* like they're trying to connect to me through my emotions and i feel manipulated (mother issues). with my t, i can express what i'm feeling and i feel like he connects to me intellectually.
not saying female ts can't or don't. this has just been my experience and admittedly i have hang ups because of my mother.
that said, i do pretend in my head that my t doesn't really care (which is hilarious because he has repeatedly told me he does and he really likes me as a client). he rolls his eyes when i tell him that i imagine him ignoring my rambly emotional emails LOL (this is the kind of reaction i like - it make me feel like he hears me but also isn't adding weights to my emotions. it works for me and that's hard to explain). so i kind of understand the feeling of wanting him to judge you? maybe?
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“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
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