Hi Thefearofknowingall, it sounds like you're having a really hard time, right now and you're right, here is a really good place for support, so welcome to PC!!
Now this is just a thought but do you think with the way you're feeling about your job, it may be the underlying depression/anxiety feeding into that. Sometimes just the thought of having to do something/anything can feel so overwhelming with depression/anxiety.
And maybe it's not as much that "even 4 medications aren't enough", but perhaps 1/any 1, 2....just aren't the right medication/s for you. Doesn't need to mean you need more/higher doses.....but maybe a change in medication???
And as for the job, if it is the job, I'm always going to say no job is worth feeling like that for. But there could be ways around it e.g. if there's any chance of a transfer, looking at a different position where you're working, working less hours........But maybe you need a bit of a break (even a very short break) right now, if you could book some leave, or even if you feel that you need to go off sick with the way you're feeling?? And perhaps just look into the possibilities of other jobs??
Sorry I've jumped ahead!! I should have asked if there's anyone you work with you could talk to as well, sometimes just sharing problems can help just a bit, and if they're facing some of the same problems at work it might help if you could support each other??
And as for your wife..........when you tell her you're feeling down............well you're feeling a lot more than down aren't you?
Depression is a lot more than "feeling down". I know it might take a lot to tell her how it really is (straight down the line, as far as you can!!) for you, but it might be important, do you think?? Maybe she needs to really "face it", for both of you??
And as for talking Rohag had an excellent suggestion of seeing if your benefits include therapy/treatment. Something's like that can help a lot, so perhaps look into your options??
But it is good that you've come here. Well done on reaching out and please don't stop doing that, because with the right support things can get better.

Alison