haven't been here in ages...

is down. pdoc isn't really believing me. sometimes i feel like i have to go in with an actual attempt in order for her to believe me.

so was already down, schoolwork piling up like mad and i'm backlogged for a month. then came a really close relative's passing. that was painful. to add it all up, a close friend of mine completed a sui attempt. parts of me is still grieving for these two losses.. telling myself that i have to keep holding on. it just seems difficult at times...

saw T though, and T knows me longer than pdoc. T is wonderful as she is....