Hi Pale,

i'm sorry this must be emotionally draining,
from a lot of previous experience cussing out exes as a defense mechanism, the only way I know so far to get rid of the internal feeling is to just cut them off to help both sides heal.

I know it's harsh and you probably don't want to do this but it really really helps.

I have currently let my ex back into my life within boundaries, and already finding it hard to control feelings of anger and rage towards him as he hurt me greatly.

Emotional triggers and how to regulate emotions can be treated and worked on through therapy called CAT apparently.

Chance are if you have done this before, then you are likely to react like this against and eventually it might make you intolerable towards relationships xxxxx hugs