i strongly doubt she had any sort of erotic counter transference towards me. I really do. I was surprised she wanted to (was able) hold me at all, I was nearly 275 lbs and she was like 155. I lost a lot of weight though and dropped down closer to her weight (150-ish), and it feels like the more weight I lost the more uncomfortable she became. I dunno this is all conjecture. I have no idea but I am a sexually unappealing beast, so erotic anything in my mind is out of the question. The holding was really very maternal, it never ever felt sexual.

Except for holding/hugging kids, I don't let people touch me. I hate being touched. It took her 5 or 6 months before she ever tried to touch me, and a few more before she offered to hold me.

We were 29/43 at the start of therapy.