I'm learning in therapy that the only thing I can control is myself. I can assert my needs/wants, but that doesn't mean anyone has to comply with them.

Irl, I think you're struggling with control in therapy. I'm pretty sure your T isn't going to change at this point. You can accept her the way she is, continue fighting, or part ways. I know you're struggling with your T. I have read many of your posts. I feel for you, I really do.

Part of me still goes back to a post long ago where I wrote that no one can determine the true nature of your relationship with your T because we're not there. I also have BPD. Most people with BPD blow things out of proportion and tend to misread facial expressions. Maybe part of the issue isn't completely your T?

I think you're also struggling with control on here. You tend to only respond to posts that support your feelings towards your T. Posts that try to help you cope or change your perspective, you tend to ignore or be defensive.

I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong. And I know you're hurting over the situation with your T. I don't have any solutions to suggest beyond what has already been said. But I do hope the situation resolves itself soon so you don't have this added tension in your life.