irl, i think your T feels ethically obligated to see you and that is why she feels she can't terminate with you. she pretty much said as much in what you relayed in your post last week. i think she is worried if she terminates, and probably even with a referral, that you will attempt suicide due to your bpd diagnosis. so, she continues to see you which is incredibly damaging with the way she is going about it.

her joking that you would slash her tires is nuts. if you were a violent person she could have very well put that idea in your head and you might have done it. obviously, that isn't something you'd do and you had no idea she wouldn't get the joke note. i would be totally hurt too if someone kept making a mean joke like that. totally unprofessional and quite foolish on her part to ever say that.

i know you have mentioned in the past that she'd hold you for most of the session. i don't know what sort of therapy that is supposed to be but it sounds similar to reparenting which is known to screw up the client in the vast majority of cases. how she thinks doing that and then taking it away isn't going to mess with your head is beyond me. your T is just so incompetent i want to scream!

i'm not sure your letters are going to get you anywhere. you could just ask her if she feels she has to continue seeing you for professional ethical reasons (due to your diagnosis). like we all told you previously she will never tell you she doesn't want to work with you because that would probably lead to her losing her license and it would be totally unethical. you deserve much better treatment irl. i know you have said you can be a difficult client but your T does not seem in any way competent to treat you.