i'm sorry for the tragic loss of your parents and how your siblings left you with more than your share of responsibilites.

you are not a diagnosis. diagnoses are useful to therapists who report to insurance companies as a way of justifying the treatment and receiving reimbursement.

you are a person seeking to feel better. that is all the diagnosis you need really.

perhaps you haven't found the therapist or therapy that is right for you.

i agree that a pill isn't the answer and taking meds is a personal choice regardless of any recomendation. if you are going through an insurance company for treatment, that will influence what you are offered. they expect a quick resolution (it's cheaper) so they offer therapists who work short-term and they push meds, in my opinion and experience. if you leave the insurance conpany out of the picture you can choose whatever fits you the best after researching to see what that might be.

here is a site that has a lot of great info. i go there often. it has a good question and answer section as well as many links to types of therapists and therapies: www.guidetopsychology.com

you have a lot of awareness which makes you way ahead of many who seek treatment. i think wih the right therapist and therapy you will feel much better.

i have also been in therapy for years. i was on meds for years too but stopped them a year and a half ago. i am now in the therapy i want to be in, paying for it myself without any insurance company involvement. it feels very good to be doing this myself without the insurance company looking over my and my therapist's and my treatment's 'shoulder' and 'managing' the type of therapy, frequency, and duration of therapy.

I hope you will keep searching because i believe there is just the right thereapist out there for you. keep posting and reading here too and you'll learn a lot. it's a great place and I'm glad you're here!