well it used to be my cat but he died in january. i dont mean to sound like im joking. i am very serious. thinking about who would take care of my cat if i had killed myself stopped me so many times. he meant a lot to me. but now that he is gone im not sure what keeps me going. i think relationships in my life mean a lot to me. so that is some of it. but also i just try to remember that bad times pass eventually. i know that sounds trite but idk it helps me get thru it. i used to not even be able to think like that.

daily things that help me are talking to someone every day, anyone really, i mean i prefer friends or family but sometimes the only people i talk to are customers at my job. i try to stay within a routine to alleviate stress. honestly the biggest thing that helps me when im low and feel unsafe is to take a prn of seroquel. it numbs me out. i dont really see that as healthy but its still better than the self destructive coping skills i had before.

i think its a process to figure these things out for ourselves