It seems at least once a day I doubt this is me. I deny it so vehemently. Then I think back about how I've been through my life. And [emoji33] omg I am this. This is me. Maybe the things that happened to me were partially my fault. I'm a stressor for my wife. I don't want to be. Nothing it's wrong with me. I want to stay awake for days and get the house spotless and organize everything right now and exercise. And go to Wal-Mart and steal some meaningless thing for the rush. Or on the way to or from work drive 20mph over the speed limit maybe more. But the meds are slowing me down. Making me tired. I hope it thunderstorms tonight and tomorrow. I love thunderstorms. I am supposed to be sleeping. It doesn't make sense to have all these desires, but your body won't allow it thanks to meds.