Hi, and welcome to PC.

I'm very much in the same boat as you (though without having the high moral background like you). It is very frustrating for sure, as a virgin my age (32) I not only have to deal with being thought of as pathetic and useless, but I feel your same insecurities.

If you can find one, I would advise seeing a sex therapist. Really. I've sought one and she has greatly helped me to put a lot of fears of mine at ease. A good sex therapist will help you with a lot of fears and anxieties and hopefully have you feeling more at ease. I know it won't make the frustration of wanting to go away but anything to do can help.

I'm with you all the way, I hope you can find some love and happiness